The Outcast

Differences and similarities are acknowledged in every possible setting. We prejudge, make assumptions, compare and contrast every thing, places, persons we come across. A lot of insecurities, jealousy, animosity, and arrogance stems from how we feel about these things. There are role models, celebrities, gurus, and mentors we admire and look up to. These type of people are examples of the person we strive to be, but may not necessarily reflect who we are in the present.

Who we are, who you are, who I am in the present is our own identity.

Given that any living being has its own identity, by separating ourselves from others-- the hope of possibly inflicting change and making an impact arises in us and empowers us to be our own.

Sometimes I feel like I'm looking and experiencing the world on the opposite side. Though I'm physically present, everything looks so beautiful, sounds so lively, feels so warm, and tastes so intriguing that my heart starts thumping louder than usual, my eyes lit up, my grin turns into a contagious smile, and my mind continues to daydream about the endless possibilities that can occur. Even with all of this wonderfulness, I tip-toe not wanting to disturb everything and anything around me, I stay silent eavesdropping at the most weirdest conversations, and I get scared... Maybe they'll finally take a look at me and know right away that I don't belong.
I'm not a part of this world.

And so I wonder, why we try so hard to fit in, to look pleasingly attractive, to be loved, to be hated... What is the satisfying life when we all are too concern with fears? desires? power? uniformity? Why do we complicate things by wanting what we can't have? For me, this isn't a sign of defeat, ignorance, or selfishness... this tells me that 
people believe. people care for each other. emotions make life more real, it brings us together and tells us: you are not alone.

No one is an outcast. Yes, sometimes we can feel out of place, uncomfortable, different, but SO WHAT? No one person is completely identical with another person. That's why I'm telling myself right now, it's meaningless to search for someone that truly understands me... you can't say you've walked in my shoes, and I can't tell you that either... Instead of looking for comfort in that way, I must tell myself --

In life, you meet many people, there will be commonalities and differences but no one is the same as you and no one is entirely different than you, we are humans made to relate and interact with one another, we belong together. 

To my readers,
Smile tonight :)

Why Care?

I always stood by the saying,

"live in the moment"

I give thanks to what is mines and what is not, stay positive, and experience life by the seconds. I realized that living in the zen is peaceful; I don't have to worry about the past or the future, but one day, one of my coworkers brought up a question that made me think twice about my life's motto. I was trying to convince him to see the bigger picture of a social project aimed at fighting for an environmental cause, and here he was with a smirk I knew too well, a smirk I once held,

"Why do you care about things you can't control?" He asked.
My heart paused -- why do I care? Why don't YOU care? 

I couldn't think of a reason. I just stared at him with disbelief, why am I trying so hard to convince someone to care when that person has obviously made up his mind to not give a rat's ass. To remind you all again, we're talking about an environmental issue; raising awareness of energy efficiency and safety in homes; encourage families and individuals to conserve resources, use safe and healthy products at home, and think about preparing for emergency disasters. Everything I'm trying to promote is future-tense, so how can I say proudly that I "live in the moment". I don't. I live for a better and brighter future while taking the time to remind myself that life is a gift, to not take anything for granted, to be humble and thankful.
That's the real truth.

I get that question a lot, "why care?" and sometimes it makes me angry that I can't explain to that person why I care. Even with tears flooding my eyes and a voice filled with rage, at the end of a heartbreaking conversation, that person still doesn't understand why I care so damn much. Maybe, I can finally answer this question --

I care... because I value you as a person, a teammate, a classmate, a friend, a family member; whichever category you fall under, I care because you are important to me and I care that you understand where I'm coming from. Equality, freedom, justice, knowledge, fellowship, faith, friendship, family are things I value. They are important values I stand up for and not caring about any of those values is not an option to me because I take my values very personal.

This brings up another topic: doing the right thing. I never understood how people can just stand by while someone is crying in pain in front of their eyes. I never understood why people inflict harm, pain, and danger on another living soul!!! I never understood why people would rather erupt in a frenzy and cause destruction to express their hatred, anger, jealousy, or greed rather than negotiating, compromising, communicating, and showing others why they feel that way. Letting go isn't impossible. Healing takes time, but it's not impossible. Forgiving is hard, but it's not impossible. No body is telling anybody to forget. Learn from it, try to understand it, cope, prevent it, change it, but don't let that hatred destroy yourself.


To my readers,
Don't be discouraged, follow your heart <3