20141028

It Feels Right...

In school, kids learn that there is an answer to every question and a solution to every problem. We learn by instructions on how one should process information. Like a multiple choice question we are given a selection of possibilities that contain one correct answer. We are educated to apply what we have learned in books to a real life situation. Even without experience, we are encourage to make an educated guess on how to handle the situation based on probability, deductive reasoning, or trial and error because we are guaranteed to eventually come up with the correct answer.

When we become an adult, we are expected to know all the answers because it's our job. When an issue occurs, we should be prepared to think outside of the box, be creative and efficient by minimizing our time spent examining the primary issue at hand. Instead we dress it up with alternative products/services to meet our client's ultimate goal. And when we satisfy a customer this way, why bother to change our bad procedure that caused the problem, because now we can promote other specialties we supposedly offer. But in all seriousness, can we take a step back, sincerely apologize, and admit we made a mistake? Instead of depending on an instructor with an answer sheet, we need to find a way to make things work by being adaptable, resourceful, and careful in our decision making. This is leadership - to take command and ownership of your work.

It's the same thing dealing with relationships in this era. There can be several excuses why you didn't do what you're suppose to do. And instead of simply admitting you didn't want to do it, that's why you didn't do it, you forego the blame by saying things like - "I forgot",  "Something came up", "I don't have time". And the response would be - "Okay, that's fine. Don't worry about it." That's why I find it hard to depict a person's sincerity. That's why it's hard to trust. And that's why it never lasts.

Like building something from scratch, every tiny error affects the strength of the foundation. Even if the appearance may look detailed and luxurious, it can easily fall apart if it's made by weak or improper materials. To build something long lasting, we cannot simply gloss over the scratches. We have to sand it down and smoothen the edges. Like in relationships, we should take into consideration the other person's feelings, intentions, and happiness. Most of the time, we are stuck worrying; worrying if we are intruding the other person's space; if we are becoming bothersome; if we are being too needy. Yet we don't realize that negativity comes from our own insecurities. Like how things are not awkward unless we make them awkward. This underlying fear of not being liked back stands in the way of you being happy.


In the past, I thought that if a guy likes me, he would want to hold my hand and take me on cute dates. It only hit me now, that is what he does to make ME like HIM. And if HE really likes ME, he would want to get to know what makes me, me. He would fall in love with my crazy thoughts and random expressions. And I wouldn't have to fight for his time or attention. I wouldn't feel insecure if he lost interest because he would tell me how he feels. I wouldn't even think to measure who likes who more, because we would be on the same page. And that's how I knew this could be something special. When we both are so intrigue with each other's weirdness that every day we learn to love a new part of ourselves we didn't even know exists.

So I say, if you like someone, express it wholeheartedly without hesitation. And if you don't like someone, don't pretend to! You only have one face, be proud of it.

To my readers <3,
Let's be real.

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